“Life is journey not a destination”, “Life is a marathon not a sprint”, “Shit Happens”, “Life sucks and then we die”, these are all common phrases about life. I am really tired of all these clichés and “helpful” inspirational statements people tell you to help you get over difficult times in life. While they are neither true nor false, they don’t help. NEWS FLASH-the Human Condition can be difficult at times. We have big brains that have created many things in our life to “help” or be “convenient”, however, they just make it harder sometimes. Oh for the simple life of our ancestors the primates EAT, LOVE, FIGHT, SLEEP, and REPEAT! Of course I don’t really wish we were primates,
Ari what in the world does any of this have to do with LOVE and relationships you ask mystery reader? Well I am so glad you asked. Well Mystery reader this is really about STRESS. Modern Society has its good and bad aspects and with everything we HAVE we also get a heavy dose of Stress. Previous generations also had stress just in different forms.
Below you can find my simple cycle of stress:
This cycle for some can be a never ending loop of their life that ends only with the person’s death. I know that is morbid and unfortunately the truth. Well this cycle does not have to continue it can be halted and a new course forged to break the cycle.
The above graphic is one way to break the cycle. We only need to change the way we deal with stress to break the cycle. FYI: ALL relationships will be TESTED at one point or another with some type of stressor. Some people have them happen almost daily and some people only notice them when it is a big life event. While a blissful event, having a child cause stress and people deal with this differently.
Tips for success take the coping skills assessment. Stress Style Assessment (assessment provided by C-Health website)
Find out your coping Style, Your partners coping Style
How can you understand each other to not let stress not ruin your life or your relationship?
5 TIPS to Cope with Stress and Stress Styles mismatch:
- First take the assessment be honest with how you and your partner really cope with stress.
- Find ways to understand each other’s style and what can you see about your style is hurting you’re hurting you relationship: own up to you part. The only person you can control or change is yourself.
- HAVE some FUN! Find health ways to cope with stress. Create a new stress reducer- Walk on the beach, Go biking, Go for a walk outside, Go to out to dinner, Visit Friends or have friends over, Make a Game Night, Start a club, read a book, Meditate, Exercise, Call a family member or friend. Whatever is your healthy way to cope with stress and BONUS can be a partner connection TIME.
- Write in a journal what you stressors were that day for a week. Each week look at the list and see where you have patterns and look for ways to eliminate or adjust these stressors. Take on an extended challenge and make it a month of journaling- Change your mindset.
- TAKE IT LIGHT!! Laugh, LOVE, LIVE. Life is too long to spend it stressed out all the time. ENJOY some FUN AGAIN!!